You were late for work and took a taxi. Before you even left Panormou in Alexandras your seemingly calm driver had transformed into Wolverine. Horns, nerves and you still haven’t had your first latte yet. At the office you are still trying to shake off the stress you took with you.

All week the partner is stressed about the difficult presentation he has at work. He is forced to speak, he is abrupt, everything is his fault. And you carry around all week a huge bundle of stress that you never ordered. Because it’s not just yawning that’s contagious… So is stress!

The stress it can be brand new, straight from the hanger of our mind, but it can also be worn second hand, when we are surrounded by stressful situations.

Scientists know that stress, like other emotions, is transmitted in the atmosphere through a wireless network of neurons – mirrors, as they are called, the tiny parts of the brain that make us understand how the other person is feeling. And then we talk about secondhand stress. Like the coat you bought at the Portobello market, but much more harmful to your health.

A recent study found that 26% of participants reported increased cortisol levels simply from observing someone who was stressed.

Second-hand stress is much more contagious from partner to partner and vice versa (40%) than to a stranger, yet this too (24%) can stick to us like gum.

  • My stress

It’s called the “principle of emotional responsibility.” We are responsible for our own emotions and not the source of other people’s emotions. We often hear the expression “he or she makes me anxious” or “the disapproval of others makes me anxious”. The right question to answer “what’s stressing you out?” it’s “I’m stressed”. When you understand this, you will be able to work and reduce it.

  • Lozenges for other people’s anxiety

When we see stress as a threat, our bodies and minds automatically amplify it. When someone is extremely stressed, show compassion but don’t accept to relieve them of their burden by making it yours. See it as an opportunity to help. Take a walk together discussing what color would be best to paint your nails or what is the ideal temperature for wine.

  • Build your natural immunity

Stable and strong self-esteem is a safety net against the stress of others. The higher it is, the more likely you are to feel that you can handle any situation you face. Remind yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. Exercise is one of the best ways to build self-esteem because the brain registers a victory every time you exercise.

  • Take your anti-stress ‘vitamins’

Before going to work or other stressful environment, don’t forget to have received the appropriate antibodies. Think of three things you are grateful for today. Write a positive email or send a text of praise to someone. Meditate for just two minutes. Write in your journal a very positive experience you had.

  • Be understanding, but…

Be understanding of other people’s negative feelings, but sit with yours. Instead of responding to the stressful phone call from the friend who tells you how overwhelmed she is every day in an equally stressful tone, calmly reply “I’m so glad to talk to you.” And close it quickly with a nice excuse.

You deserve to feel great and enjoy your life. However, it is not always that easy. In the moments when it seems difficult to cope, do not forget that you can ask for the advice of an expert and share what concerns you.