Many of us enjoy, and even pride ourselves on, our love of planning – whether it’s meal prep for the week or anything else. Planning is generally harmless – it is, so to speak, pleasant to have goals and plans.

But for some of us, planning is an unhealthy and borderline obsessive habit.

“As women, we often have many roles in our lives. This can create a desire to check every aspect to make sure we’re on top of it all,” says Laura Caunter, a member of the Life Coach Directory. “When we plan, we feel in control and this helps us deal with worrying about consequences and outcomes. Often, the need to be in control of consequences and outcomes can lead to over-planning.”

An “obsessive programmer” is someone who needs to be in control of everything from start to finish, adds Laura. “They may not care about other people’s opinions or ideas and like to organize everything their own way.” This can lead to unrealistic expectations of the outcome, he adds. “They may put too much pressure on themselves to make everything go perfectly, and the idea that something can’t be planned can make them panic.”

Personal development expert Tammy Whalen Blake took her planning habit to the extreme by making a business out of helping others make plans.

For her own life, Tammy has a 10-year plan, a five-year plan, a one-year plan, a quarterly plan, a monthly plan, and a daily plan, which is sometimes hourly.

“Determination and personal growth are core values ​​for me, and for that to happen, you have to plan,” says Tammy. “I wouldn’t describe [τη σχέση μου με τον προγραμματισμό] as obsessive, but rather essential’. Still, he says he can often reach some “obsessive limits.” When planning events for her social circle, Tammy usually has a “floor plan” in mind, that is, an agenda. As for her love relationships, planning her love life led Tammy to find her ideal life partner after drawing what she calls the “Mr 100%” bar chart. If potential partners didn’t meet the minimum threshold of any of Tammy’s categories – including attractiveness, good health, intimacy and more – she wouldn’t move forward.

“The dating process has become enjoyable and has allowed me to communicate what is important to me and my relationships,” explains Tammy.

However, the planning is not always productive. But, when exactly does a programming habit turn from harmless fun to an unhealthy and destructive habit?
“When the need to be in complete control trumps everything else,” says Laura.

Signs to look out for include stress caused by excessive worry, feelings of frustration or anger and lack of flexibility – weakness taking other people’s opinions or ideas into account – which can create strained relationships with friends, loved ones or colleagues. “It’s important to make plans, otherwise life disorganizes and disorients you. However, when planning becomes a major habit in one’s life, it becomes an unhealthy habit,” adds Yuko Nippoda, psychotherapist and spokeswoman for the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP).

“It can be unhealthy if people try to schedule everything fanatically,” adds Yuko. If one makes a detailed vacation plan well in advance, say, if one is constantly making lists and thinking of contingency plans B or C in case plan A goes awry. For them, it’s almost like their programming list is the Bible.”

“My advice would be to set realistic goals”, says Laura. “Often, over-planning can create large, unachievable goals that lead to feelings of failure when they are not achieved within a certain time frame. When we set realistic, achievable goals and give ourselves the right amount of time to complete them, it creates even more motivation and increases productivity.”

Look inward and ask yourself: do you make plans that bring you joy and comfort, or do you feel compelled to plan everything out of fear and consider it an extra burden? According to Yuko: “As long as you enjoy making plans and get energy from doing it, it’s healthy, but if the habit becomes troublesome and affects your life, you may need to seek help.”

As Yuko says “no one is perfect and it’s okay to make mistakes. It is much more productive if planning is seen as an enjoyable activity. Then you can relax and be happy regardless of the consequences.”