In a world of utter suspicion and selfishness, relationships have become more difficult than ever. People seem to be constantly on the defensive and are completely unwilling to open up and give. However, it is difficult to completely close the door to love.

So you end up behaving much like the first bath of the summer: You hesitantly dip your foot in to check the temperature and take gradual steps to get in. However, if you get cold enough, you very easily change your mind and go out. And so, a story you went to start is left in the middle, unfinished and you never learn how much it could have evolved and what it would have had to tell.

Perhaps you will tell me that you do not belong to these people. Maybe you’ll tell me you’ve never done it. Then you almost certainly have it. You stand in the middle of a route, watching the other drive away and wondering what happened. What broke, what went wrong.

“A story that doesn’t get enough time to develop can have a significant impact on one’s mental health and self-image,” Adrine Davtyan, social worker and relationship expert, tells The Every Girl. “The uncertainty and ambiguity that characterizes these types of relationships can lead to emotional distress and create feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and insecurity,” she adds.

And then, this difficult journey begins: The steps you must take to overcome the questions and wounds left by this almost love story and move on.

  • Create emotional distance

Setting boundaries and distancing yourself from the other person is an absolutely necessary step to moving on. Sometimes, this may mean cutting off all communication from the other person. This, of course, is not always possible, so the most important thing is to create emotional distance. Setting clear boundaries, reducing the frequency of interactions and emotional distance will give you the mental space you need to move past this story with an inglorious ending.

  • Allow yourself to grieve

We expect that a love story that has never been labeled as a relationship will be easier to get over. According to Adrine, however, the healing process isn’t so much about what you’ve been through with someone as how you’ve felt about them. That’s why a key part of moving on is allowing yourself to mourn the loss of a deeply emotional relationship, despite the fact that it never took a formal title. “It is important to focus on the lessons and personal growth that can come from such an experience.

I would suggest you start by recognizing that this story, despite its lack of commitment, provided an opportunity for self-discovery and reflection,” he says. Of course, such an unfinished story always contains a degree of illusion or an idea of ​​how it might have turned out. The important thing is to give yourself the necessary space to “mourn” and, finally, overcome a love that ended ingloriously.

  • Give space and time

We’ve all heard of the rule of thumb for when you can really get over someone: It takes half the time of the relationship. But in reality, such ideas have no basis in fact, and trying to put a limit on how much time is “normal” to get over something doesn’t help you at all. “There’s no set time frame for how long it takes to get over someone,” Adrine clarifies.

“Do your best and don’t compare this route to someone else’s. Be patient with your emotions and try to understand and accept their complexity, allowing yourself to grieve, to reflect, but also to learn from the experience.”

  • Identify the lessons you learned from this story

Breakups never come alone, but come with important lessons. Lessons learned about the mistakes you made, about what you suffered and never want to happen to you again, about the limits you should set in your relationships with people. This unrequited love has definitely come to teach you something, whether it’s about the nature of relationships themselves or the world around you. By taking some time to recognize these lessons, you will prepare yourself to choose more appropriate relationships in the future.

  • Reframe your perspective and focus on new opportunities

At the end of this challenging and intense emotional journey, you can finally enjoy the inner well-being that has returned, as well as embrace yourself a little more because you are now wiser, stronger, and have set better boundaries that will act protectively against future wounds. According to Adrine, self-care is essential to getting over an unrequited love.

“Focus on self-improvement and personal growth, spend time with loved ones who can support you on this healing journey, and do things that bring you joy,” she points out. Allow yourself to enjoy the single version and its era. Now is the time when you can get to know yourself better and listen to your needs and desires.

And remember: As incredible as it may seem, sometimes the best part of a story is what happens when it’s over.