About 2,500 years ago, in his attempt to explain the mystery of love, Plato argued that, in the beginning, humans were spherical androgynous beings, creatures so powerful that the gods feared them and decided to split them in two. Since then, according to Plato’s myth, people are half and seek their other half so they can feel whole again.

And this is how the myth of the other half was born, which makes generations and generations of people look for that one, the ideal, the perfect person who will complete them. To this already stressful struggle came to add one more concept: That of the twin flame. There are many theories about the origin of this idea, but in recent history, it was Megan Fox’s declaration on a podcast that Machine Gun Kelly was her twin flame that prompted her to “shake” the collective consciousness with the idea that we are in fact “two halves of the same soul”.

The twin flame follows the logic of the “soulmate”, which wants you to find that person who will “click” perfectly on you, giving you the concept of completion.

Romantic? Yes. But realistic?

Naturally, the idea has been divisive. On the one hand, it’s easy to see why it fascinates some people, holding believers in the idea that all failed relationships and dates are part of a divine plan that ultimately leads to true love. It can also give some people the feeling that they don’t even have to look for love, because it will find them.

Relationship counselor Annabelle Knight believes in the idea of ​​a twin flame, arguing that your significant other doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic partner, but can be a platonic relationship. “Your twin flame can be your best friend, someone you “hit it off” with at work, or your partner. The connection is not necessarily romantic“, says. Knight cautions, however, that “it’s easy to romanticize this idea to the point where it’s no longer realistic“, he tells Cosmopolitan.

At the opposite end of the pessimistic view is relationship expert Lucy Rowett. He points out that there is no scientific basis to support this idea. “It’s stupid. It basically holds that there is someone out there who is another expression of your soul, so you are, in a way, incomplete without them. I think most people can relate to the idea of ​​feeling incomplete, as it is part of the human experience. But thinking there’s someone out there who can complete you is troubling. It fuels a series of unhealthy obsessions about romantic love, “burdening” it with the obligation to fill a void that no one can ever fill.“, he characteristically says.

No matter how romantic you are, you have to admit that these words hide truths. It is certainly dangerous to idealize people. You are likely to meet several people with whom you will connect instantly and powerfully. But this can be due to a number of real reasons, such as a trauma, cultural background, shared experiences and others. There are many things that can connect us deeply with someone else. And besides, who said we are incomplete without a partner? This idea is simply destructive to human relationships and the burden we burden the people around us with.

“It feeds unhealthy narratives about relationships and is an unrealistic expectation of a partner” says Rowett, adding that people who are drawn to this theory are often vulnerable, with a history of trauma and toxic relationships. Believing in narratives like the twin flame can often fuel dependence on another person and create unhealthy relationships.

“Of course there are people with whom we will feel closely connected. But theories like the twin flame can prevent us from living authentically and freely because we believe that outcomes are predetermined and ultimately out of control“, argues the expert.