At the beginning of the relationship we fly in the clouds with many butterflies in the stomach. Phone calls, comments on social media, messages. It is the first thought in the morning and the last in the evening.
Then the emotions calm down and the conditions are created for a common future. At some point in everyday life, the growing up of children combined with fatigue, and any problems couples get away with. Some seek help, some do not.
The image of these couples is described by the clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Anna Kandaraki, speaking to APE-MPE: “They are sitting on the couch opposite me. She gathers in a corner trying not to come in contact with him. This is how I imagined them in the marital bed at night. One at one end and the other at the other. And yet things were not always like that.
“You know how dear we were in the beginning” … “He kept calling me to tell me that he was thinking of me, we found an opportunity to meet … now he forgets my birthday” “, Ms. Kandaraki typically conveys and adds:” I see couples coming in with a complaint. She feels unsatisfied and he underestimated, wronged that nothing is doing well. They all need to be told that this was not the case in the beginning. Obviously. But the answer always surprises them: “and we do not want to be like before” “.
Why is this happening; “Relationships are a living organism that wants daily care, healing and care.” As Ms. Kandaraki points out, “every living organism evolves, grows, changes. We can not wear his baptisms permanently. As nice as it was. It can not stand still, because we too are changing. Stagnation in a living system means disease and necrosis. “We ask for more from our partner in his 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s, otherwise you were correlated in the first phase of the relationship and otherwise we build it together afterwards”, he states.
On the opposite bank, there are all those that help the relationship to evolve over time without getting bogged down. Note: “Love does not grow old with time, it grows old, like man, with oblivion.
When we forget him, or neglect him and leave him alone in the lurch.
It wants evolution, do not reminisce about the first days of your love, look for and create new, different ones.
Speak with desire and not with complaint, believing arbitrarily that the other person should know what makes you happy, after all, our desires, like ours, change every day “, says Mrs. Kandaraki to APE-MPE.
“Love is not an old love, it is a love that evolves, that is kept young, precisely because it grows up, it is not comfortable and most importantly, it does not stop wanting”, concludes Ms. Kandaraki.
Dr. Anna Kandaraki, is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist – Doctor of Medical School of the University of Athens – Excellent Paris V René Descartes of the Sorbonne – Director of Therapy Nest Psychotherapy Center
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