Matt Singh wanted to do something really over the top when he proposed to his girlfriend, Rubbani Singh (they share the same last name). The couple had been together since high school, and it was hard for either of them to surprise the other.
After purchasing a 2-carat emerald-cut diamond ring, Matt Singh, 26, needed to figure out where and how to deliver it to Rubbani.
He decided on Dear Irving on Hudson, a bar at the top of the Aliz Hotel, in the Manhattan neighborhood of New York (United States). The space had two separate sides with magnificent views of the city – he rented it in its entirety.
On November 27, Matt told his girlfriend to get dressed for a work event in town. On the Uber ride, he couldn’t stop checking his phone. She found it strange. “She asked something like, ‘Why are you so uptight going to this work event?'” said Matt, a real estate developer in Jericho, New York.
What Rubbani didn’t know was that not only would he propose to her, but 40 friends and family would be waiting to celebrate with the two of them. When they arrived at the scene, he blindfolded Rubbani and led her up the stairs. When he untied the blindfold, she gasped. There were rose petals scattered around the room, along with photos of the couple over the years. A violinist played an Ed Sheeran song and a photographer snapped pictures.
As he knelt, the guests arrived. He asked her to marry him; she say yes. “He put the ring on and everyone clapped a lot,” Rubbani said. “It was a beautiful way to have everyone we love participate.” The couple and their guests spent the next three and a half hours talking, eating canapés and drinking cocktails.
No, nothing is private anymore, not even one of the most important questions anyone can ask.
Many marriage proposals have evolved from something between a couple to something that now includes relatives and friends. Not to be confused with the engagement party, which takes place post-proposition and pre-wedding; the request party takes place along with it, or shortly after.
It can be performed anywhere – in homes, restaurants, outdoors or even via Zoom – and is usually organized by the orderer, but in recent years there have been several ceremony specialists specializing in this romantic event.
It can be tricky, of course, especially if the person receiving the request says no. But if that happens, the groom can “go alone to the party and kindly inform the guests,” said Kim Forrest, senior editor at WeddingWire. (After all, nothing like the comfort of friends.)
“Most bidders decide to have 15-25 guests present at their bid to celebrate afterwards, and most post-celebrations require some sort of meal, whether it’s appetizers served on a tray for a more casual setting, or a sit-down dinner with a set menu. planned,” Megan Bicklein, proposal planner and head of customer relations for The Yes Girls in Trabuco Canyon, Calif., said via email.
According to a recent survey by marriage registry website Zola, about 23% of 568 couples had a proposal party. The Knot’s 2021 Jewelry and Engagement Study found that 33% of couples invited family and friends to witness the requests, up from 27% in 2019.
Part of the fascination has to do with the pandemic, which “has shown people there is no time to waste,” said Tatiana Caicedo, who helped plan Matt Singh’s proposal event. “People want to get married faster and combine the proposal and the engagement party into one.”
Or, in simpler language: they want one more excuse to party.
The relentless glow of Instagram and TikTok – and the pressing desire for “curated” content – are also important factors. “You’re creating a special environment for the proposal that should also look really good on social media,” Forrest said.
There’s also the simple joy of sharing the moment with those closest to you, as Will Beckham did when he invited a dozen friends to celebrate his proposal to Josh Cole.
Beckham, 42, took Cole to Fells Point, a beachfront neighborhood in Baltimore, where they both admitted they had been in love with each other since their second date in August 2020. The couple, both dressed in pink and blue shirts and ties , walked over to a table mounted on a dock. “The Dock of the Bay,” their favorite song, played softly.
When Beckham proposed to Cole, a handful of friends and family, including Cole’s twin sister and Beckham’s son from a previous marriage, surrounded them. Several others came later to eat and drink.
“It was a great way to include people we love in a moment that was also intimate,” said Cole, 36, an intelligence analyst and graduate student of Fine Arts at the University of Baltimore.
Then there are those who had to create a Plan B when Plan A fell apart.
Rachel Tucker and Andrew Bobbitt moved from Dallas to Boston in 2020 and didn’t have a steady group of friends.
Originally, Bobbitt, a law student at New England Law, wanted to fly to Texas and order there, but it was December 2020 and Covid-19 rates were high. So he decided to invent something else.
While Bobbitt was proposing at Harvard Yard, a neighbor decorated the couple’s Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts apartment. “We got home and she was leaving, and I was like, ‘What are you doing here?'” said Tucker, 27, an office manager at an accounting firm.
The neighbor had blown up photos of the couple from Tucker’s Instagram page, along with streamers and balloons. So Bobbitt brought his laptop to a virtual proposal party for Tucker’s closest family and friends. “We had a nice little party on Zoom,” she said. “It was so sweet. It was a really good shining moment in a pretty depressing 2020.”
Translated by Luiz Roberto M. Gonçalves
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