How can you help someone who feels alone?

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Loneliness is one of those things people don’t like to talk about.

Loneliness is generally defined as the discrepancy between a person’s preferred and actual level of social contact. It is a subjective, qualitative self-perception, writes Psychology Now.gr

There’s a misconception that admitting you’re lonely is like admitting you’re a social failure. But the reality is that loneliness can happen to any of us. Just as you might unintentionally hurt a lonely friend.

If you failed to help a lonely friend and feel bad about it afterwards, here are some tips to help you do better next time.

What not to say

It’s easy not to understand feelings of loneliness, especially when you have a life full of people and you’re busy with everything you do.

Being lonely doesn’t mean someone is socially inept or lazy, it just means they haven’t built deep relationships in their life like you might. There may be several reasons for this.

Avoid saying these things to a lonely friend:

Do you feel alone? How do you do it? I never feel lonely! Why don’t you have friends? Oh, I’d love to have peace like you. I wish I was alone! They all make such a fuss. You’ll be fine.

These statements make you sound indifferent, even when you have the best intentions.

What not to do

Don’t use your lonely friend as a backup plan. Some people think that someone who has admitted that they are lonely is actually because they don’t have enough things to do. But what lonely people lack are relationships and contact, not tasks.

Don’t promise a coffee or an invitation to dinner out of courtesy if you have no intention of doing so. Don’t call him out of guilt and then reject his own suggestions. It is very important to be more aware when it comes to a friend who needs us.

What to do

One reason people avoid helping a lonely friend is because they already feel stressed and think their friend will take up their precious time. Lonely people don’t expect you to be there for them 24/7, but they do need a little kindness.

Invite him to a meeting you might have with another friend. Invite him to a family dinner. Recommend him to your other friends. One night when you are bored watching TV on the couch, invite a friend who can watch TV alone at his house.

Don’t judge people who admit they are single. Many people who feel lonely do not have the courage to say so and instead suffer in silence. Most of the time a series of circumstances have caused loneliness, and this is something that can happen to anyone. If you are lucky and have friends or close family, share some of your luck with people who need it.

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