Why is it that the more you have to do the less you feel able to act? That feeling of helplessness always seems to come when you have a dozen things on your list, all equally urgent. Or it appears when you have a big, really important thing to do and you don’t know where to start.
Instead of logically working through your list, or slowly tackling that giant task, your brain acts like a rabbit that has just noticed a dog in the backyard – it suddenly stops.
Ellen Hendriksen, clinical assistant professor at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University, points out that the freeze response—the famous “fight, flight, or freeze” response—comes when we see the task (or many tasks) in front of us as a threat. “Our bodies react to threat in the same way, whether external, like the proverbial saber-toothed tiger, or internal,” she says.
“With a large, overwhelming to-do list, that threat could be of failing or letting others down. It could be the threat of feeling stupid or incompetent because we don’t know where to start or how to do things.”
This experience can happen to anyone, but people who struggle with being perfectionists can be especially prone. “In perfectionism, we identify too much with our performance,” says Hendriksen. “If we unconsciously think that we are what we do, then what we have to do becomes much more complicated.”
In the face of this anxiety, the executive center of the brain loses control. Normally, the prefrontal cortex, which is critical for planning, decision-making and self-regulation, keeps the more emotional parts of the brain in check. But in moments of stress, the balance shifts, and regions like the amygdala, responsible for identifying threats, can start to take over.
These expert tips can help you snap out of the paralysis state and put your control center back on track.
SHRINK THE ELEPHANT TASK
First, you need to drop a stress level or two. Try taking a few deep breaths, which can reduce cortisol, one of the main stress hormones.
If it’s a single daunting task that makes you feel overwhelmed, the standard advice is to break it down into small steps. “It’s like that old saying: ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time,'” says Piers Steel, professor of organizational behavior and human resources at the University of Calgary (Canada).
These steps must be “ridiculously small,” says Hendriksen. “The measure is that your task should be so small that you feel no resistance.”
The steps also need to be concrete, restricting you to a time, place, and duration that you will do a certain thing. Steel recommends thinking about them as if you’re giving “instructions to a teenager who really doesn’t want to do it, so you have to be very specific.”
Take some of the pressure off too by telling yourself it doesn’t matter if you do a bad job. You can always come back and improve later. Think about the number of mistakes or repetitions you will allow yourself to make, points out Hendriksen. “The answer cannot be zero.”
Finally, take a first step, anyone. “It’s the idea of the task that usually stops you from doing it,” says Steel. “It’s so big that you don’t know what to do, and since you can start anywhere, you don’t start anywhere.” Once you get started, work tends to flow more easily, and you often find, “Oh, that’s not so bad.”
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF
For an overwhelming list of small tasks, the key is to start strategically. You can do the most important or timely thing first, of course, but another option is to start with the most enjoyable task.
“We are so focused on duty that we forget that sometimes there is some desire, and following that can be very refreshing,” says Hendriksen. “If all that has to be done, then I can take care of what causes me the least resistance.”
Starting with the smallest or easiest item can also build confidence and momentum. “Do something you can do and be successful, because nothing builds success like success,” says Joseph Ferrari, professor of psychology at DePaul University.
Another place to start is with what is most important to someone else. “When you feel overwhelmed, you have to ask yourself: How does this make other people’s lives easier?” says Ferrari. “If I do this, will I help anyone? If I don’t, will I be preventing someone from doing what they need to do?”
Self-encouragement can also help break the ice when faced with a long list or that task you really don’t want to do. If there’s an email you need to send and you keep putting it off (and putting it off), promise yourself ten minutes of internet celebrity gossip later. Or combine an enjoyable task with an unpleasant one, like doing a crossword puzzle while you wait for your health insurance provider.
“You use something you like to do to reward something you don’t like to do,” suggests Ferrari. “This technique has been around for 50 years and is very successful.”
If it’s simply impossible to finish your to-do list before you’ve done everything, delegate. Ask a co-worker, family member, or friend to take one of the items off your list, knowing you’ll return the favor in the future.
WHATEVER, DON’T AVOID
Before starting, remove distractions to focus on the tasks at hand. Put your phone away, clear your desk, and set a timer for 30 minutes (or longer, but sometimes it’s good to start small). Tell people – including yourself – that you are not to be disturbed during this time. This includes no breaks for snacks, emails or dishwashing.
What you really don’t want is your paralysis turning into procrastination when you do something small and pleasurable in the short term, like scrolling through Instagram, to avoid the big, difficult one. Distraction and procrastination often go together, says Steel, because “if you have an environment where temptation is always around and easily available, you’re going to procrastinate more.”
Avoiding tasks not only locks you in for the moment, it sets you up to repeat the experience next time. When you avoid something that makes you anxious, you reinforce what Dr. Hendriksen has called “the two lies of anxiety.” The first lie is that the thing really was threatening, and the second is that you couldn’t have taken care of it.
“When we avoid things, we dwell on those two lies and never learn, ‘Oh, it wasn’t as bad as I thought!'” she says. “And look! I could handle it!'”
The key is to work through the anxiety and teach your brain that it can function under stress. Doing so builds confidence and good habits for the next time your to-do list scares you.
Translated by Luiz Roberto M. Gonçalves
I have over 8 years of experience in the news industry. I have worked for various news websites and have also written for a few news agencies. I mostly cover healthcare news, but I am also interested in other topics such as politics, business, and entertainment. In my free time, I enjoy writing fiction and spending time with my family and friends.
