The reason why they tell you “you are mature for your age” can be a danger sign

Nearing the end of the first week, the final season of Love Island has already offended viewers concerned about the age gap between 19-year-old islander Gemma Owen and 27-year-old David Sancrimen, the season’s first bomber. your.

The couple kissed and were immediately married. The audience wondered why the 27-year-old was interested in meeting the 19-year-old in the first place and why the age difference couldn’t even be resolved. The same applies to islanders and manufacturers.

But last night, in episode 4 of the season, the couple finally appeared, albeit for a short time.

“What do you think I’m so much older than you?” David asked.

-In other words, you don’t care?

Jema informed David that this was not his first rodeo and as far as he was concerned, there was no problem with the age difference.

“Like I said, I’m talking to a man, and I saw a man much older than me,” he replied. “This isn’t something I’m new to. You alone or something.

“It’s normal for me, so it’s not a problem for me, but do you think it’s a problem for you?”

Then, when told it was okay, David dropped the classic line: “I’m actually saying you’re much older than me.”

In other words, you are very mature for your age.

Compliment the surface, yes, but underneath is definitely the red flag.

We’re convinced that David meant no harm, but it’s important to recognize how this particular line can be a problem when it comes to age differences.

“Older people who say they are mature to younger people can consider themselves neat,” said Katie Press, a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships.

It’s classic charming behavior, telling him what he wants to hear early on or in the early stages of joining him.

“She can say these things, respect her maturity and make her think she’s attractive. This allows young people to look like super adults and be respectful. I can do it.”

That’s fine if the feelings are real, but lead therapist Sally Baker thinks it justifies the age difference.

‘[A comment like this] “This is used to justify the age difference that makes some people uncomfortable,” he said.

“They point to the special maturity of young people as a way to clarify.”

For Sally, the fact that the age difference has come up at all means that they know it, and they know it can be off-putting.

And why do older people want to do this? Well, the young ones are much more impressive.

“Young people are easy to impress and nonjudgmental,” says Sally.

Be more careful as you will become more aware of danger signs and toxic behavior when you are on the block multiple times.

“Young people are more vulnerable to misbehavior because they don’t have life experience to see it happen and they catch themselves.

“When older people know what they want – they want honesty and credibility – and they know what it looks like, then they are less, they are not going to be left behind.”

However, Sally points out that maturity may be less in terms of age than life experience.

“If you work full time or live away from your parents, you’re probably more mature,” he says.

But he says it’s a flaw in life experience that can lead to long-term power imbalances, especially if senior partners compromise or control.

Not everyone sees David’s compliment as a sign of immediate danger, but in this context it can be very benevolent, but pay attention to this common thread outside the village and it’s worth concluding what it means.

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