Opinion – Cozinha Bruta: Coxinha fondue, hamburger fondue… go for fondue!

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When I lived in Rio, about three years ago, I got around to doing an article about the curious Rio fondue scene. The kiosk at the Fasano hotel on Ipanema beach –which is no longer with us– served cheese fondue with its feet in the sand. And the Casa Porto bar, in the port area, had such a feijoada fondue, announced the column by Ancelmo Gois, on Globo.

As I have an unhealthy attraction to the bizarre, feijoada fondue was something I needed to try. Bizarre for bizarre, in fact, I took the date from the dating app to our first face-to-face conversation at Casa Porto.

It is obvious, logical and evident that the roll did not evolve – in a way it did, because I am her friend to this day. But let’s talk about feijoada fondue.

When the bowl of bubbly bean broth arrived, with sausages and cracklings to dip with a skewer, I realized I had it all wrong. There was satire, irony, carioca irreverence. Matter was never made.

What Casa Porto satirized is the infinite capacity of Brazilians to transform any piece of junk into fondue – or sushi, pizza, pastel, the devil for four, without limits or interest in the traditions that created these foods.

Just this week, I received press releases of three new fonduezeiras.

One of them concerned an Italian restaurant that, being Italian, renamed the fondue “fonduta”.

Another advertised a certain “national festival of coxinha fondue” with orange cream cheese. This festival only happened in a certain chain of cafeterias and the coxinha, if that wasn’t enough, was sausage.

The third release talked about a mini-hamburger fondue, which you dip into a curd before eating.

As the pardon of my French, go fondue.

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