Blocking technology in an attempt to protect children could backfire, expert says

Online sexual abuse and exploitation of children and teenagers, with explicit image submissions and requests for photos and videos, are increasingly common. It’s no use blocking children’s access to technology, as that will only encourage them to find ways to get around the ban.

It’s important to let kids feel free to talk to their parents when these situations happen — and eventually adopt parental control apps and software.

These are the guidelines of Veda Woods, a cybersecurity expert who was director of information security under Barack Obama.

Founder and president of ProtectUsKids, an organization that fights online sexual abuse and exploitation of children and adolescents, Woods was in Brazil to launch her non-profit organization, which already operates in Nigeria, Pakistan and Kenya, as well as in the USA.

What are common situations of online sexual exploitation of children and adolescents? Parents are often on the side when children or teenagers are receiving photos of genitals, proposals for meetings or requests for images by message. Not all children will tell their parents they are receiving these materials. Children are curious. They think they’re protected by anonymity, they think they’re online, they can’t be seen. So they want to see what else they’ll send. And they are afraid of their parents’ reaction.

The important thing is to give these young people tools to make better decisions. Because it is impossible to take technology out of the children’s world, it will be increasingly present, this will only increase. But we are neglecting children in this process. We need them to understand that, despite being bright, intelligent, they are children, they are teenagers. They feel insecure, vulnerable to peer pressure. Before, you had pressure from friends at school. Now they are under pressure from millions of online followers. If we adults sometimes have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, how about for children?

They consume a colossal amount of information. So sometimes parents think, “I know my daughter, I know what she’s doing online, I have parental control apps on her cell phone, I know everything she does.” Yes, parents know everything there is to know. But children are curious, they are attracted to images. There are cartoons and memes that appeal to kids, but they have a whole explicit subtext, for example. And when the kid is online, he’s talking to thousands of other people — whether they’re other kids, or adults pretending to be kids.

We, in trying to protect our children, have a tendency to demonize technology. But that doesn’t work. Technology is their world. It’s no use prohibiting. They will find ways to cheat and gain access, and worse, they won’t say anything so the parents won’t forbid it.

How often do children and teenagers receive inappropriate messages or are targets of people who try to seduce them? It is very common. Whether in online games or social networks, they receive direct messages. People who are not even their followers on social media can send these messages. It’s not just adults who send it, there are older children too, teenagers. The 14-year-olds send it to the 9-year-olds, for example. And it’s even more dangerous with children and teenagers from poor communities.

Because? Because they are prime grooming targets [aliciamento]. Teenagers and children who want to have things and can’t, like a better life. The recruiters take advantage of this. Grooming can take anywhere from a few days to a few months. The recruiter becomes the child’s friend, a confidant, promising things. They use chats a lot.

We call them “stalkers”, they are in conversations just watching. As many young people use social networks as if they were their diaries, exposing how they feel, what their desires are, there are people who are watching, looking for targets.

From what age should children be allowed to use social media? It is a personal decision of the parents. But I personally don’t think kids should have TikTok accounts, for example. The key is for parents to set boundaries, just as there are boundaries at home – you tell your kids they have to clean their room, tidy things up, tell them where they’re going, what time they’re back.

It’s the same on the internet, you need to establish rules for the virtual world. You should tell your son or daughter that if he or she gets a message with a picture of a penis, they should immediately stop talking to that person and go talk to you. It’s no use having a reaction of, for example, starting screaming and confiscating your child’s phone when that happens.

Same thing if you surprise your child watching pornographic cartoons or animes, which are very common. They often go to watch because friends are watching and they are curious. So it’s important to talk, ask how the child felt, explain why it’s not appropriate. It’s no use going straight to a punishment.

And it is important that children feel this openness to talk to their parents, and that adults are willing to have this conversation, even if it is uncomfortable. Because if parents don’t talk, kids will talk to someone else, probably online. And it’s better that they get their parents’ advice than someone who is 9 years old or who claims to be 9 years old and is actually 29 years old.

Should parents monitor their children’s online activities? Some parents feel that their children have a right to privacy and that they would be violating that right by monitoring them. I don’t think it’s wrong for you to set limits and monitor the behavior of children and teenagers online. They are children, they need guidance.

And it’s just like in the real world – while they’re at their parents’ house, they have to play by the rules, they can’t do whatever they want. In the virtual world it’s the same. There are software and applications that don’t “read” all of the children’s conversations, but monitor certain terms that can indicate dangerous conversations and trigger alerts.

Raio-X | Veda Woods,47

Born in Chicago, she is a cybersecurity expert and was director of information security in the Obama administration from December 2009 to July 2015. She is founder and president of ProtectUsKids, an organization that fights online sexual abuse and exploitation of children and adolescents .