“German railways are looking for new employees. Preference will be given to those who are at least 15 minutes late for their first appointment.” – “Unknown hackers from abroad attacked today Deutsche Bahn resulting in all trains arriving on time.”

These are just two of the dozens of jokes circulating on the internet. Trains in Germany are systematically late, or even… get lost. Delays or cancellations are now a daily occurrence and this is also admitted by Transport Minister Volker Wissing, who declares his anger at the situation, which now affects more than one in two routes: “It is unacceptable, it does not correspond to the level and requirements of country, but the responsibility must be sought in the era 20 years ago now”.

Only the workers are not to blame

The minister made it clear this week that the only people not to blame for the mess on the trains are the workers, who too, often with humour, try to console distraught or pacify angry passengers. Moreover, their strikes often demanded the modernization of the company. The edge for the previous governments, which avoided investing, despite the warnings of experts, “so as not to burden future generations”, as they used to say, is more than obvious. Thus they delivered to the country “antique” trains, as Mr. Wissing likened them to a coating of anecdote.

“Imagine trying to drive a taxi with an antique from the 60s. This won’t go well.”

The overall costs

In other words, Merkel’s infamous Swabian housewife, who never made unnecessary expenses, did not think that it would cost her less if she replaced the dungarees, which every now and then left her on the street, delayed her from work or forced her to pay for another means of an hour of need.

These days it was announced, among other things, that the German Railways has a debt of one billion. No one laughs at this in Germany. And to this one billion should be added the many billions that will be needed from now on to upgrade the network, which Vissing promises.

“We need an infrastructure renewal, which we have prepared extremely well and the company is starting to implement. It will be done gradually in 41 routes. The improvement will be seen from the very beginning.”

A few years of patience

The network will therefore be modernized over a period of six years. Because what has been ruined for 20 years cannot be fixed overnight. This of course means a few billion more. To demolish the argument of “not charging” future generations once and for all. It also means that the patience of Germans and visitors will continue to be tested, as lines will have to be closed, often for months at a time, to be replaced. So again, be patient. And with the ticket and a good book, to pass the time if needed. The wifi network on the trains is fantastic anyway. In the literal sense of the term. It only works in the imagination of some well-paid managers.

As for 5G, it has so many holes along many routes that it resembles a fishing net rather than a network. Because for many years the Swabian housewife was the first reason for possible investments in telecommunications.