A group of tourists visit the Vatican Museums and stand in front of the Laocoon Complex. The marble sculpture shows the Trojan priest Laocoon and his two sons. He is said to have advised his countrymen not to bring the Trojan Horse into the city, as he himself suspected some trick of the besiegers, and he was right. Hiding inside the Trojan Horse were Greek warriors who later sealed the fall of Troy. This was the will of the gods, and because Laocoon went to spoil their plans with his warning, the gods sent snakes to strangle him and his children.

As fascinating as this story from ancient times sounds, another detail catches the team’s eye. Laocoon’s penis is extremely small but not only that. Statues of men with toned muscles and tiny genitalia are scattered throughout the museum. “Why do you think ancient sculptors armed men so modestly?” the tour guide asks them. “Hmm, I used to be a gynaecologist,” a Dutch tourist replies jokingly, “and I wasn’t particularly concerned with men’s hypogastrics.” And then she adds: “Though statistically speaking, southern men’s moles are said to be smaller than northern men’s.”

This was certainly not the reason, explains archaeologist and tour guide Chiara Giatt. “For the ancient Greeks and Romans, large genitals were considered ugly,” he explains. “The stonemasons only made small genitalia because they wanted to make it clear that this figure is a thinking man who acts rationally and has his instincts under control.” Ancient man had a high degree of self-mastery and control, unlike barbarians and certain Gods such as Dionysus, the god of wine, pleasure and ecstasy. He was always accompanied by the Satyrs or Fauns, creatures that had human and goat characteristics. They celebrated in extravagant feasts along with the forest nymphs.

Greek hypothesis the tiny molecule

“These gods and spirits of the forest were lustful, so their genitals were depicted correspondingly large,” says the guide. In mythology, Dionysus’ son Priapus, whom he had with the goddess of love Aphrodite, had the largest mole, and the shepherds who raised him worshiped him as the god of fertility because of the impressive size of his genital organ. The small molecule as an ideal model of beauty was a Greek affair. The ancient comedian, Aristophanes, wrote 2400 years ago what the ideal male body should look like: “Shiny chest, fair skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks and a small penis.”

The Romans adopted this concept, as did later Renaissance artists such as Michelangelo and Raphael, who were fascinated by the perfectly formed masterpieces of antiquity and used them as models. For example, Michelangelo’s David, painted between 1501 and 1504, and which can be admired in the Accademia Gallery in Florence, also has a tiny molecule.

Coming back to today, the view of male genitalia has changed. Large molecules are associated with masculinity and male success. According to a recent study by Stanford University in California, male molecules gradually lengthen over time. In particular, they have grown in the last 30 years at a rate of 24% in different regions of the world and in all age groups. This research was published in the medical journal “World Journal of Men’s Health”.

In ancient times these lengths would have caused aesthetic horror. “Length doesn’t matter at all, women know that long ago,” comments a tourist from Israel, who is photographing the statue of Laocoon. By the way, in Italy the colloquial male particles are called “piselli”, i.e. “peas”. As the Latins used to say “nomen est omen”, the word says it all…