Many references have been made to the things that hurt us as children, but we know little about how they appear in our lives today. I searched, observed “outside” and “inside” me and finally came to the following: Many problems we may have, are often related to traumas we acquired as children.

When we talk about trauma, we certainly don’t mean only those related to physical or psychological abuse, nor do we refer to a specific event that etched our memory. The traumas of our lives, and especially of our childhood, are all those small behaviors that happened continuously and eventually had an impact on our habits and self-esteem.

“Busy myself, you”

One of the telltale signs of childhood trauma is the behavioral addictions a person may adopt. Workaholics, the endless tendency to deal with other people’s problems and the abuse of social media are some of the most common examples.

In this category, belong all the habits that someone adopts in order to keep his mind in a permanent state of alertness avoiding the thought of the bigger problem. In this way, the feeling is created in the mind that by ignoring the problem, in the end, you don’t think about it, you don’t reproduce it, and therefore, fortunately, it doesn’t exist. Or maybe not;

In the case of a trauma, the exact opposite happens. Busy people are the ones who often try to get away from something, while they are afraid to slow down because when they did in the past, they started feeling depressed and filled with anxiety. Thus, they constantly set high goals, believing that the more they achieve and the better they perform, the better they will feel. This tactic, I have to tell you, unfortunately ends up in a vicious circle for this and it is observed that these people are rarely happy with their acquisitions.

Little or very casual sex

Let’s make it clear that it is not only bad that someone only wants sex in their life, let alone if it is occasional. We also do not blame or say “no” to such a choice, as long as it is done consciously.

On the other hand, if we look at it through the lens of childhood trauma, there are many who choose to switch multiple partners without having the will to invest in anything more. This often happens because they don’t want to get emotionally involved with another person and end up getting hurt. So a person, no matter how stereotypical it sounds, is likely to try as an adult to find confirmation with any person possible, even temporarily. Even more so if this is accompanied by neglect and violation of self-confidence in childhood.

Troubled situations? I am here

Have you ever heard one of Freud’s theories about our love relationships? According to him (and not unfairly), we attract the parent of the opposite sex.

What does this mean; He will say that an unconscious process is created within us from our very childhood in which the person tries to resolve his unresolved trauma, coming closer to it. In other words, he can see a problematic situation from miles away, yet for some reason it seems automatically and familiar to him.

Given this comfort, he considers any interpersonal situation manageable and chooses it that way, despite the emotional danger of the situation.

Attachment issues on repeat

And yes, they are admittedly among the most difficult and complicated to solve.

People who, for better or for worse, failed to have a healthy relationship with the people who raised them in their tender childhood years, find it very difficult to maintain their relationships as they grow older.

If, for example, a person grew up in an environment where his worth was constantly tested, in the future there is a huge chance that he will constantly try to prove his worth and gain the attention that he failed to gain when he was still a child.

As you can see, it is very possible for such people to withdraw from relationships, even if the other person offers them the love and attention they are really looking for.

Constant weight fluctuation

You will have heard it (you may not) that any unresolved problem has the power to create a health issue at any time. From the most serious to the simplest.

So whether it’s called binge eating, or anorexia, or bulimia, or diabetes, it’s a problem to be solved.

According to numerous studies, it has been confirmed that obesity does not simply arise due to the difficulty of losing weight. Rather, it goes beyond genetics and tends to be due to the accumulation of chronic stress in the body.

People with childhood trauma are often the ones who, consciously or unconsciously, choose to eat a lot in order to feel, even physically, the emotional fullness that they did not experience in their lives and especially when they were children. Others, on the other hand, resort to overeating in order to appear less attractive. This behavior is usually adopted by people who have been abused at some point in the past and think that they will protect themselves by creating a less attractive image than the facts. Similarly, those who are driven to anorexia.

Some punish themselves through food deprivation to create the image they want others to see of them, while others simply want to control themselves by rewarding them with food when they achieve something or by depriving them when they fail. they feel like they are failing.

I have good news

The good news somewhere here is that fortunately childhood traumas heal and even completely. The question is how much patience you have and we have to achieve such a goal. The balances, friend and girlfriend, are meant to change and to adapt each time to the new facts of our lives.

Release your “locked” thoughts. Accept and embrace all the good and all the bad that got you here today and let yourself finally take a huge breath.

And of course focus on the most important thing: Keep your distance from everything problematic, everything that clouds your mind and doesn’t allow you to see the landscape clearly. A landscape that suits you completely, even if you are not used to it. You will see (and this is a promise) that change is so close, even if it always seems to be miles away.