Life from the beginning of the pandemic until today as you read this article has changed in every possible way. And it has forced you to accept many situations. However difficult it may seem at first reading, what you have been asked to do is simply to accept reality. As strange or unbearable as it may seem.
In Japan, there are many words that mean “acceptance”.
Depending on who you are and in what situation you are in, finding the right words to express acceptance varies and is a challenge for both the speaker and the listener.
“Ukeireru” is just one of many options, but people can also refer to the concept of acceptance using others. Regardless of the word choice, psychologists say acceptance is a value that can help us manage big and small stressors, from dealing with a Wi-Fi outage to living in a global pandemic.
“Sometimes it is necessary to accept who you are, what you do and what society does to you,” explains Masato Ishida, Ph.D., Associate Professor and Director of the Okinawa Center for Studies at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. It’s not the same thing as resigning, he adds. Instead, it is more about accepting the current situation in order to make peace with it and either making the most of it or moving forward.
Shigenori Nagatomo, Ph.D., a professor of religion at Temple University who specializes in East Asian Buddhism research, uses the English word “harmony” to describe acceptance or ukeireru as part of Japanese culture.
Many people in Japan have an attitude of high goals, hard work, which makes it difficult to accept anything less than perfect, Ishida explains. Thus, this way of acceptance helps in those moments when everything does not go according to plan.
But how do you practice “ukeireru” in your own life?
Ukeireru means more than self-acceptance. It means accepting our relationships at the level of family, school, our work and our community in general. It means I accept others. It means accepting reality and creating frameworks that broaden the narrow, restrictive and sometimes exhausting view of oneself.
By practicing acceptance, you leave room in your life to move away from negative or unpleasant situations. For example: To find motivation to find a new job, you must first accept that you are ready to move on from your current role – or, to begin mourning the loss of a loved one, you must accept that he or she has died. .
The “concept” is to accept yourself, family, friends, colleagues. And as you do this, you will be able to understand other points of view. If you do not have self-awareness, you do not have the power to change things – especially not the conditions that create or contribute to stress in the first place.
Be polite – to others but also to yourself.
Remember, it is okay to feel fear, sadness or anxiety about all the uncertainty you are experiencing right now. Instead of hating yourself for these feelings or trying to fight them, be kind and compassionate to yourself. It is part of acceptance. You have to be okay with feeling the way you feel. And then you can go ahead and figure out how you can make yourself feel better.
And do not forget that if your feelings of anxiety or sadness have become uncontrollable, it is important to seek professional help.
Remind yourself that every situation is temporary.
We tend to feel anxious when we feel trapped. And one way to make any situation immediately less stressful is to remind yourself that it is temporary – and whatever you feel uncomfortable about now will not last forever.
See also:
Why is it not so bad to feel bored sometimes in your relationship?
How a walk with your dog can reduce stress
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