One reason for this confusion may be the lack of a clear understanding of what happiness really is and how to obtain it. This is exactly why you will see the myths about happiness here. Do all these myths ultimately prevent you from finding your own happiness?
According to psychologist Sophia Godkin, PhD, many people struggle to find and define happiness, “and it’s largely not their fault,” he says. “We have been taught to believe that happiness is one thing, when in fact it may well be something different.” So what exactly is happiness? “Happiness is ικαν our ability to be okay — whatever happens. “It’s our ability to be satisfied, no matter what happens in life.”
When it comes to being able to access this continual positive satisfaction, the myths of happiness – although they often come from someone with good intentions – threaten to keep it away from you.
# 1 Something is wrong if you are not happy all the time
Although it may seem contradictory, there is something to be said about the fact that the experience of sadness is an effective means of boosting your happiness. In addition, positive and not so positive emotions can coexist in such a way that they do not prevent you from being a happy person. “Happiness is independent of the emotions you feel,” says Dr Godkin, who adds that it is human nature to experience a range of emotions that do not include only the positive. Thus, feeling sad, angry, rejected or jealous does not automatically mean that you are not happy. “When we feel we have to be happy or positive all the time, we engage in a thought process that excludes the normal [ποικιλία συναισθημάτων]He adds.
So instead of chasing away your “negative” emotions – which is not recommended because avoidance will not change anything for you – try to embrace them and examine why they may appear in you. This way, you can better understand yourself (instead of criticizing him for not feeling well) and be proud that you went through a difficult situation.
# 2 External factors can bring happiness
If you believe that money, vacations, the perfect partner, children or other characteristics of life will make you a happy person, positive psychologist and Robert Mack has a hard truth to share with us: “Many of the myths of happiness they come from a kind of short-term experience of pleasure, anticipation or excitement, ”he says. «[Αυτά τα πράγματα] can often be perceived as happiness “, but in reality, happiness is not an element, but a state of being.
While some of the above ingredients may contribute to fulfillment and a positive outlook on life, the belief that happiness is a good to be achieved is dangerous because there will always be something else to chase. Ultimately, happiness is an inner state and remembering this can help you make the most of that feeling whenever you need a boost.
# 3 You can not experience happiness when things do not go your way
If you find yourself thinking, “I can not be happy if things do not go my way,” you put an unnecessary condition on your happiness, says Dr. Godkin. “The reality is that [μπορείς] to be happy regardless of whether things go your own way or not “, he adds.
Practicing gratitude — like writing in a thank-you journal — can help protect you from this trap, says Dr. Godkin, because it gives you a way to understand that you can be, and are okay with, even when something does not happen. When something does not go according to plan.
# 4 You can not create a happy future if you have an unhappy past
This is one of the top myths about happiness. Dr Godkin wants people to stop believing this myth because it aims to take away from people their power to change a given circumstance. “Yes, you may have had a difficult past, [αλλά] “You can still have a happy future.” “There is a great capacity for healing when you can work through an understanding of the past.”
If you show yourself love and compassion, you are well on your way to creating a happy future.
# 5 Happiness is stable and does not change
“Happiness is malleable, changeable and improveable,” says Mack. “Unlike eye color or height or other elements written in your dna, happiness is a variable element.”
Dr Godkin shares this view with Mack, adding that “through applied work [όπως η θεραπεία]”You can see that you have the power to change what you are experiencing, something that ultimately has a positive domino in your life,” he says.
# 6 Happiness is a state of mind
The truth; According to Mack, happiness is a state of being. There is no doubt that having an optimistic mindset can make you feel better about your situations, but to assume that happiness is just a state of mind is a myth – one that can prevent you from recognizing the strong fact that you can access this feeling at any time. “Happiness is a complex of things. “They are emotions, they are meaning in life, they are purpose, they are social connection,” adds Dr Godkin. “It is not as elusive as a state of mind or an emotion.”
Thus, you can consider the pursuit of happiness as a skill. Dr Godkin says this can help you internalize the idea that you can work for your happiness. “I often say that happiness is a skill that you can learn. “It’s something you can build, just like you build any skill. Over time,” he says.
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