Surely you have come across quotes on the internet or buzzwords written in a book that invite you to feel every hour and moment gratitude for life: You should feel blessed simply for opening your eyes in the morning, for waking up in a normal bed, because your fridge is full and you can, after all, live a “normal” life.

This tendency for an unspecified cause, innate and lasting joy and gratitude has been around almost forever, but now, with the internet and social media, it has taken on a big dimension. You see the influencers constantly happy, living the “perfect” life and you aim to follow in their footsteps as much as possible.

Behind the light there is always (more or less) darkness

And all this is beautiful, I’m not saying. With everything we see happening around us, when there are people who don’t know if the next day will dawn for them, as they live in a state of war, or others who pick up a bottle of water and react like it’s the greatest gift they’ve ever received, because they don’t even have the basics, waking up safe and sound is a blessing in itself. Nothing in life is taken for granted, that’s why it’s really good to be happy with what we have. After all, by paying attention to small, simple, everyday things, you give yourself the opportunity to experience positive emotions on a more regular basis, and this is a goal for everyone.

However, there is also the other side: Negative emotions are also a part of life, part of a normal and balanced psyche. It is not good that they excel, but it is necessary that they exist. Anger, sadness, worry, are all part of normal everyday life and should not be sidelined. Just as you have to open the door to good feelings, so you have to allow yourself to experience negative ones as well.

How can you, for example, feel gratitude for the simple things when you are dealing with a serious financial or health issue? How do you think the influencers you follow on social networks are dealing with it? They are simple, everyday people. Some of them may actually have more than you. However, they do not have everything, as you might think, nor are they always happy. They have their difficult, “dark” moments, just like you and me. And that’s okay.

Remember, then, that in contrast to an online, virtual world, where everything seems constantly idealized, which instills in us the impression that a constantly separate life is possible and places us in an endless pursuit of an elusive goal, a path that simply does not exist, there is reality, with its bright and dark moments, with joy, but also with sadness. A life with everything.

Abandoning utopian expectations, embracing the perfect-imperfect life

If you ask yourself where this strong desire for permanent perfection comes from, or what lies at the root of this feeling of dissatisfaction, you will soon discover the paradox of the falsely permanent perfect life. Remember that it is important to attend to what you are experiencing every moment, good and bad. Stay away from the mentality that wants you to see everything in “black and white” and categorize them into desirables and undesirables. Leave yourself free to feel what needs to be felt in each moment and you will be surprised how much you will eventually improve your daily life, not in the way you thought, but through a path of acceptance and recognition of all its dimensions and nuances of life.