‘Sexting’ improves communication and sexual satisfaction for couples, study says

That racy text message or even the occasional nude can be the start of better communication and more sexual satisfaction between couples.

The finding is from a North American study of people aged 18 to 75 who were in monogamous relationships. According to the research, the frequent practice of “sexting” (sending erotic digital messages) brings positive results to the relationship.

Couples who exchanged sexual messages also had better rates of communication about sex and greater personal satisfaction with their romantic involvement.

The following were considered sexting: sexual content and typed flirtation, conversations about sex and intimacy, and sending nude and semi-nude photos, as well as videos (of oneself or pornographic) via electronic messages.

The sample considered 465 anonymous interviews completed through an online questionnaire, of which 86.2% of the participants lived with their partner.

The work “Sexual Relationships: is sexting a relationship enhancer in intimate partner relationships?” (“Sexual Relationships: Is Sexting a Relationship Enhancer in Intimate Partner Relationships?”), by researcher Amanda Baker, was presented to the doctoral program at Widener University in April of this year, and the results were published in an article of the same name in August in the international scientific journal The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Baker says the practice impacts pillars that help build the relationship. “The results of this study can help clinicians and educators understand how sexting affects romantic relationships,” the researcher writes.

Baker also evaluated the effect of the pandemic on couples. About 60% of participants reported a negative impact on their relationship, with 27% saying that the health crisis brought them closer and 14% reporting decreased sex or relationship satisfaction.

“The study found that participants felt that texting was more important than sexting in their relationship during the pandemic,” Baker reported.

Activist and presenter Cairo Still, 33, and her boyfriend have been together for 6 years. They started using sexting 2 years ago after a relationship crisis. For Still, the feature helped to face the most difficult moment of the coronavirus crisis. “It ended up being a rediscovery for us. We became closer and closer. Whenever we felt we needed to, we went back to WhatsApp and agreed on how the night would go”, says Still.

He reports that he already had problems with a leaked nude, but that he solved the problem by improving communication between the two. “We put it as a rule: any image we were going to send, don’t leave your face exposed, or any part with a tattoo”, says the presenter.

The study also showed that 14% of respondents used sexting when they were apart for long periods of time and 10% said they used it as a foreplay. On the other hand, 8% felt uncomfortable with the practice and did not use it, and 8% mentioned that because they lived together they did not feel the need.

Musician and influencer Nathália Rodrigues, 25, has been dating for 3 years and saw sexting as an ally to not let the relationship cool, in addition to overcoming excess time together during the confinements of the pandemic.

“We started in 2021 and we continue to use it until today. It spiced up our relationship more. We started with the traditional one, of sending only photos, but over time we discovered videos”, he says.

The doctor Gerson Lopes, 67, coordinator of the sexual medicine sector of the Mater Dei de Saúde network, says that in Brazil, women and young people always tend to be more open to the new, but that he expected a more significant change in the pattern of couples after the health crisis.

“Sex is still taboo, so the challenges are still great for those who resort to sexting and other technological tools. Unfortunately, there is more talk about intimacy than being tolerated,” said Lopes.

The doctor published a study in 2020 on relationships during the confinement phases of Covid-19 and found that for the survival of the relationship, partners who live apart need to renew their romantic and sexual criteria.

“For those who live together, we recommend the need to strengthen intimacy. I can say that repetitive, monotonous sex, in the same way and in the same place, ends up striating sexual desire, particularly in women”, says Lopes.

Bárbara Lucena, psychologist and sex therapist, noticed an intensification of flirting through social networks and the exchange of instant messages with erotic and sexual content.

“It is important to consider that, nowadays, a lot of communication happens virtually. In a way, it is natural that all forms of relating [para trabalho, afetivamente e sexualmente] also adapt to this modality”, he says.

In addition to the risks to privacy, the expert says that the person must be aware of the social and emotional consequences, such as feelings of guilt, regret, vulnerability or insecurity. Lucena also stresses that it is important to understand if this exchange of messages is something you really want to do and if you know your partner to the point of enjoying all the benefits of the practice.

“Sexting can promote the couple’s intimacy, a sense of trust in each other and facilitate the playful aspect of sex, fostering imagination. In addition, it can enhance sexual arousal and communication, serving as a way to explore one’s sexuality” , points out the psychologist.