Did you meet your new ideal partner with anxiety? Did he come into your life when you needed him most? After the collapse, loss or derailment of your life?
If so, beware of the knights who step in to save you. Because social illness is one step away from psychopathic illness. They are also attractive, kind and manipulative, and now they may be targeting you.
“They smell like predators,” warns therapist Paul Revland. “Sociopaths see weaknesses a mile away. They live in women (or men) of all ages, but have enough assets and wealth to be identified as potential victims. He is probably not a young person because he may not have it.
“Sociopaths seek out people who are vulnerable or recovering from a relationship, and use them for their own ends.
“Since sex is a form of worship, narcissists tend to sexual plunder, but sociopaths are interested in power and love to see people suffer.
“They will enjoy taking your money and then fucking the victims.”
“I’m scared, but these people really walk among us.”
Sociopaths are entering a television moment, with dramas like The Killing of Eva and online support sites like Lovefraud.com warning victims of the danger.
Paul Levrant warns that if your perfect match has a short temper, it could be a sign that they’re vulnerable.
“They dig out of anger and selfishness,” he says. “It’s like a light switch.”
Chrissy Handy, the author of a new memoir Seduced by Sociopath, knows this all too well.
He “turned around” when she confronted her partner and the father of her two-year-old son, asking what happened to the £565,000 she lost, allegedly “investing” in Geneva.
Chris recalls: “She was yelling, ‘Shut up, bitch!'” Suddenly, the curtain came down. He was very surprised. I saw him, the man I was supposed to marry and the father of my child and I asked myself, “Who are you?”
“It was very shocking, I had to withdraw and go home. A few hours later she appeared with a bouquet and said: ‘I’m under great pressure. I’m so sorry,’” she said.
“I had never seen him on film before, and I noticed that he has a completely different personality. Which I had never seen before. It was a terrible awakening.
Handy’s riveting new book reveals how con artist Mark Hatton set her up, just as her life returned to normal after her divorce.
“I was 38, had just bought my house in Cheltenham and was preparing to start a business course at university when I was introduced to a well-dressed man in a coffee shop,” he says.
How to distinguish between sociopaths and narcissists
Therapist Paul Revrant says that sociopaths are motivated by self-interest, not status.
- They do not have the usual restrictions that society imposes on us. They often break the law, are violent and can even kill. Physically and emotionally hurting a person is completely acceptable to them and they can be cruelly aggressive if teased or challenged.
- They are often chaotic, destructive, and unable to do productive work.
- They are motivated by control and power over others.
- They don’t care about their image and may not seem worthless. Others are worthless, so their views don’t change.
- They generally have a long history of conflict with the authorities and may have engaged in particularly violent behavior among their youth.
- They are unable to feel guilt or empathy and perceive “normal” behavior as weak.
- They are always relentless in pursuit of what they want.
- They cannot maintain relationships or monogamy.
- They rarely rehabilitate themselves well, but they can convince others that they are sorry.
- They are the majority of parolees who subsequently commit violent crimes.
Narcissists are more motivated by the need for worship and break rules (always) and laws (less often) when necessary to satisfy the needs of an uncontrollable ego.
- They exaggerate and lie about their achievements and qualities to gain praise.
- They are worthless and see others as inferior, but are still very interested in what others think of them.
- They are delusional and think only of power and status. They are jealous and possessive.
- They want power and success at all costs, but usually not by violence. Violence can occur, but not for its own sake, but as a means of exercising control.
- They crave status and recognition that they are “special” and demand special treatment from others.
- They may be surprised that their actions are considered criminal because image is essential to them. The rules are for less mortals.
- They take no particular joy in hurting others, but “some harm” is acceptable to achieve their goals.
- Sometimes they can be well treated and rehabilitated, but you still don’t want to live with them.
He showed me his passport in the name of Alexander Mark Alfonsus Nathaniel Dalikin de Rothschild Hatton and said he was the illegitimate son of Edmund de Rothschild.
He sent me song lines like “You mean everything to me” with lyrics, and love bombarded me with flowers and our future plans. Give a compliment when someone likes you. I’m smart and I don’t think anyone is stupid, but it’s easy to be fooled. “
In Handy’s case, she received a payment of £565,000 and left her three eldest children from her previous marriage with her son Marcus, then two years old, when Hatton fled the country.
He was eventually arrested in the United States and sentenced to three years for fraud in February 2010 and another 15 years for raping a minor in an unrelated case. Hatton was released under license in February 2021, and Handy wrote the book about him as a warning to others. So what advice do you have?
“Your head can make excuses and excuses, but listen to your heart,” he says. “If you feel uncomfortable, step back and take some time to think about it.”
After being warned by Hatton’s sister-in-law that it was a scam, Handy decided to confront her partner who had never lived with her. But she says. “People don’t want to warn you. Some mothers at school were suspicious of Alexander, but they didn’t think I believed them.
Can the sociopath change? Handy doesn’t think so. “I think we’ve spent years studying sociopaths, and I think we were born with a little bit of a sociopathic bias, but as we get older, we sympathize with them,” he says. But Hatton was unrepentant.
When it comes to relationships, Handy remembers advice from a detective who helped put Hatton on trial.
“He said, ‘If you smell fish, you have fish.'”
I was seduced by Chrissy Handy’s sociopath (HarperCollins)..
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I am currently a news writer for News Bulletin247 where I mostly cover sports news. I have always been interested in writing and it is something I am very passionate about. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and spending time with my family and friends.
