How birth order affects the personality of siblings

Older siblings, dramatic middle-aged kids, and immature younger siblings are often common sibling stereotypes that everyone knows.

But where did these come from?

And most importantly, do they have the truth?

Many psychologists seem to believe that the difference in the personality of siblings lies in how the child is born and how the parents treat their children.

Also, all types of siblings seem to have good and bad sides.

Here, the experts share some of the typical personality traits you can typically expect (and why), as well as some caveats to keep in mind.

First Children – “Pioneer”

Marisa Peer, a therapist and relationship expert, says that the first child is often a “pioneer” who leads the way for other siblings.

She explains: “In many cases, the first child is an ‘experiment’ because there is no parenting manual. Here he will gain the skills to navigate her life through prenatal classes, advice from friends and family, and trial and error. With little dependents.

“New parents can often be strict or anxious about searching the Internet or calling a doctor about any tobacco. Many new parents go through the first few months regularly. They pass high awake and awake.

“This creates stress that even young children can feel and can develop a very rigorous approach to life.

This means that the first child is usually a perfectionist and spends most of his time with adults, so he has a more mature outlook. They are usually conscientious and independent, which makes them excellent leaders.

“But their perfectionism and intellectual approach to life make firstborns more prone to anxiety and depression later in life,” adds Marisa.

And if more brothers come, this can also be increased.

She continues. “When another baby arrives, she is no longer the center of attention and some find it hard to adjust, so their whole world changes.

“If parents are too obsessed with newborns and the age difference between them is relatively small, feelings of jealousy and anxiety can develop, which can carry over into adulthood.”

Second son of two children.

Marissa points out that in families with only two children, siblings tend to compete more often because they each compete for the parents’ attention.

“They tend to not only compete with each other, but also become each other’s biggest supporters, so they can build a love/hate relationship,” he continues.

“Age differences are also important here. If the oldest daughter is considerably older, they can almost act as second parents, but the closest children share common interests and share the world together. As you discover, you are often more likely to form a bond of friendship. friendship that will sustain their lives.

Therefore, older children can have a more mature personality if they feel that they are looking for their younger selves. Younger children, on the other hand, may feel like a “baby” in the family.

“Middle Child Syndrome”

Marisa adds that middle-aged children often struggle when it comes to forming their own identity in the family.

He continues. “They are not the elders. They were once the youngest until the third came along. That is why they often feel like “forgotten” children.

“Unless they are the only boys or girls, the older people are praised as pack leaders and wise people, and the younger people grow up.”

Dr. Elena Turoni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of the Chelsea Psychology Clinic, also supports the idea that middle-aged children may suffer from a sense of belonging and a sense of identity.

“Middle-aged children can feel like they’re in no man’s land because they don’t have the role of a responsible adult parent, nor the ‘specialty’ of young people,” he said.

As a result, according to experts, middle-aged children often tend to draw the attention of their peers, form large social circles and favor perceptions that please those who may lack in their parents.

Marisa adds:

“But research shows that middle-aged kids are often the most successful because they’re determined to prove themselves.

family children

When the last sibling arrives, the parents are less rigorous and tend to be more relaxed. This means that younger children avoid more. Parents also tend to consider the last siblings as “babies” in the family, no matter how old they are.

“As a result, the younger children are freer, more risky and a little more attentive”, explains Marisa.

“They also know how to walk their own way, so they can manipulate-learn from their siblings and also milk the fact that they are children.”

But there seems to be a stumbling block to being the youngest in the family, one of which is competition, adds Marisa.

“When we see older siblings getting things done, they feel pressure to keep going and they can feel pressure to go above and beyond their accomplishments instead of living in the shadow of their brothers and sisters,” he continues. “In contrast, some people may cross the shoreline because they believe someone is always there to help them or pick up debris.”

Dr. Elena agrees, explaining that the little ones can be bitter.

He states: “The youngest child can have all kinds of special privileges, which means that the youngest child is usually more pampered or qualified.”

Only son

Only children have a completely different experience, as most of them give their parents their full attention, unless they are in a situation of neglect.

Experts say they have a mature outlook on life and can be perceived as precocious, depending on how easy it is to talk to adults.

Only children also tend to be perfectionists, aspiring to be honest and pleased.

Marisa adds: “But they don’t have daily contact with other children, so they can be more withdrawn in social situations.

“They may grow into adults who have difficulty socializing, are reluctant to share their belongings with other children, and are not aware of the needs of others.” For others, this is selfish. It may seem like it, but often it’s because they don’t. to think.

“Similarly, they can be very sensitive to any personal criticism, as they’re not used to the endless teasing that is part of their sibling relationship.

Some notes to keep in mind:

A little research to prove it

Professor Sam Vass, a developmental psychologist at the University of East London (UEL), is more than aware that understanding whether birth order actually affects personality may lead to many other differences. He explains that it is difficult.

And at present, there don’t seem to be any empirical studies that show a significant correlation between birth order and personality traits.

So it seems that this shared family dynamic may occur, but there is no evidence to support it.

“The most careful studies that take these other factors into account, in fact, suggest that only intelligence depends on birth order,” continues Professor Sam.

“Firstborn is a little bit smarter, probably because he’s getting more attention from his parents early in development.”

Perhaps we “fix” the role of children.

Psychologist Dr. Allison McCrimont explains: Parents can “assign roles” to their children based on their birth order, such as “taking care of your sister.”

The psychological impact of being born first or last is that you are assigned that role, rather than the science of “order”, because it can actually affect your personality more than the overall birth order. It may be related to the method imprinted on you. For your family “”

sex

A child’s gender can affect not only the child’s birth order, but also the sibling’s personality type.

Dra Elena said: “Gender can also play a role, it depends on the type of family and whether it is patriarchal or patriarchal.

“So regardless of birth order, you can find young brothers who are taking care of other families, including older sisters.”

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