Opinion – Raw Cuisine: Messi vs. Salt Bae, the world’s most boring grill

By letting themselves be filmed eating gold-plated barbecue in Qatar, the players of the Brazilian national team made a high-risk bet.

With the elimination of the quarter-finals, the golden steak shines as a symbol of a group of futile athletes, who did not capture the gravity of the moment. It was time to retire and prepare seriously for the next matches. The profligate spree sounded like singing victory in advance.

If they won the World Cup, they would send a word of mouth to those who, like me, criticized the night of ostentation in Doha.

And they would win the backrest that landed on Messi’s shoulder: they would be chased by Salt Bae, the most boring barbecue man in the world.

Salt Bae, nickname of Turk Nusret Gökçe, is a notorious exhibitionist. He loves to appear in the pose where he lavishly pours salt over his meat. It was clear the guy was a no-brainer, but he hadn’t made any public displays of being such an inconvenient piece of shit.

As soon as the final with France ended, Salt Bae invaded the pitch (he must have had a pistol that got him a badge) and bothered the Argentine players. He ran after Messi until the latter, tired of running away from the twat, reluctantly posed for a photo.

The grillman’s harassment yielded a ton of memes on social media.

Now imagine what it would have been like if Brazil had won.

At the very least, Ronaldo Nazário would invite the boring meat of gold to accompany the team on its return to Brazil. And it all ended with a triumphant photo on the Palace ramp: Neymar, Salt Bae, the future ex-president Jair Bolsonaro, the World Cup trophy, a golden steak.

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