Opinion – Daniel de Mesquita Benevides: How to get your throat wet in the Islamic Cup

Football without alcohol is like an egg without salt (or a kiss without a mustache, my great-grandmother said). That said, anyone who goes to the World Cup in Qatar runs the risk of finding the experience a bit lacking in salt — and even without a mustache, since public expressions of affection, as well as alcohol consumption, are frowned upon.

The sharia, a set of laws based on the Koran, hovers like a big eye in the skies of the small and rich country of the Middle East: it sees everything, it condemns many. It is the VAR of religious fundamentalism.

Qataris are prohibited from drinking. No wonder sharia means “way to water”. There are exceptions, some privileged have special passes to buy drinks at the only national distributor. But only to consume behind the curtains of the home. They drink at home. It’s too little.

If the big eye winks, the black market will celebrate — under lock and key, of course, probably embracing local corruption. You only need to test the product with some poor guinea pig, as there is a chance that it was manufactured without much health considerations.

For foreigners, there are hotel bars and some accredited nightclubs in tourist areas. There, the wave of secret bars is a matter of national security. If they exist, they must be under a trapdoor in the middle of the desert, with mercenary surveillance. Or somewhere camouflaged, where the police come out with wet hands.

The fans, heirs of hooligan fundamentalism, will only have to pay a handsome sum for a miserable beer, to be sold in the stadiums and surroundings. If your selection is bad, it will be expensive to drown your sorrows. If it’s good, you’ll have to take out a loan to celebrate, if you’re not at the top of the pyramid.

The suitcase is a special case: you will have to pack it with Mohammedan care: no clothes that show shoulders and knees. Although FIFA should create free zones for the exhibition of fur, in the same places where there is freedom for beers and cocktail shakers. Money has always been a more powerful god.

This should be the Cup with the most fans turning to Mecca. In addition to the host country, five other predominantly Muslim nations will contest the election: Morocco, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Tunisia and Senegal. The last two are secular and democratic states, where you can order a gin and tonic blessed by Allah and the Constitution — it is healthy Islam light. Morocco, land of much tourism (Marrakech, Casablanca), is in the middle, under the sky that protects us.

Iran and Saudi Arabia, meanwhile, are on the same team as Qatar, dictatorships barely disguised. If ethylic rights are almost non-existent, human rights are often disrespected, often with great violence, as in the recent case of the Iranian woman killed for not wearing the hijab.

Close to that, access to arak is a grain of sand from the Sahara. But we also want fun and art. Any country that bans the dry martini also bans other expressions of joy, as was made clear by the arrest and barbaric beating of LGBTQIA+ people in Qatar this week.

The point is never to succumb, said Edward Said, the great Palestinian thinker. That this Sunday we can say goodbye to the evangelical shaaria. And wet your throat secularly, with the appropriate horny.

ARAB SPRING

• 45 ml of arak
• 6 mint leaves
• 3 raspberries
• A tablespoon of fig preserves
• 5 drops of vanilla syrup
• 20 ml of orange liqueur

Step by step

Pour water into the arak slowly, until it turns whitish and set aside. Muddle the mint and raspberries in a mixing glass. Mix in the rest of the ingredients and stir as you gently pour in the arak. Strain into a glass with ice.