It’s not the easiest thing to be able to keep up with a girlfriend who is attendon’t. Maybe only if you accept her behavior. But it’s still hard.

She is the friend you love to spend time with, laugh with, think about the same things and generally enjoy her company. The bad thing is that you can’t rely on her. You suggest to her to go for a drink and she replies: “Of course, great shop! See you there.”. At the last moment, he sends you “Void. Lots of work today. I will call you tomorrow.” Hmmm. Not such a pleasant development. You arrange days to get together at your house for brunch and oh! What an original! He cancels it again at the last minute. Maybe she doesn’t care that much? Maybe she prefers to be in her world? Or does it simply fall into the category of attendedon’t?

What is the girlfriend attedon’t?

She is the friend who will say Yes! enthusiastically about what you propose knowing in advance that she will not be able to attend or will not feel like it. Are you also an attendon’t sometimes?

Is the friend attendon’t, a bad friend?

With almost absolute certainty, we’d say no, it’s not a bad girlfriend. And where the two categories differ is the intention. The first one wants to see you. He wants to be there for you. He enjoys your company and has fun with you (and so do you). But her flaw is that she wouldn’t easily break her schedule to be consistent with you. There’s no way she’s going to sacrifice her comfort. Not because she’s a bad friend, but because that’s what she thinks is normal.

How do you handle a girlfriend like that?

Try to make her understand that consistency is important to you. Make it clear to her that you would appreciate a clear yes or no in order to make your plan as well. So instead of suggesting a meeting, be more specific about the place and time and ask her if she’ll be there to make a reservation. There’s a good chance you’ll get a more confident answer. As opposed to making her a vague proposal that she would definitely say yes to and almost certainly not show up after all.

Are you one too?

Are you one of those friends who say yes with enthusiasm, but end up turning down any proposal? If you know you’re not going to make it, just say no. You know you’ve got a lot of work to do and you’re not going to last a drink afterwards? Say you won’t go. Don’t have time to go on a weekend trip with your friends? Say you won’t be able to. It’s simple to be honest. If you say yes, try to be consistent. Schedule it, set reminders, do whatever it takes, but be there. And just like that, you’re already a best friend.