Mental Health: Psychologist gives tips to start the year with less self-demand

When a new year begins, it’s common to set goals of what we want to accomplish in the coming months. But it’s important to reflect on what’s feasible so as not to generate self-demand, frustration and anxiety.

For Monica Machado, psychologist and founder of Clínica Ame.C, self-demand is the constant search for perfection and, consequently, creates unrealistic expectations, becoming one of the main causes of our greatest frustrations.

“Self-demand is about everything we want to hide: imperfection, vulnerability, a feeling of impotence and incapacity. After all, no one wants to feel, or be seen, that way. Hence the need to charge yourself always, and more and more”, he says.

The psychologist reinforces that it is necessary to keep in mind that you can do and give your best, but without going beyond your physical and emotional limits. This way of thinking neutralizes negative emotions and makes it possible to relate or act in certain situations with less internal pressure and more emotional balance.

See tips from the professional to escape self-demand.

Don’t fear the judgment of others

Authenticity requires courage, as it requires us to accept our personality, our flaws and vulnerabilities. It’s having the strength to embrace who we really are, letting go of comparisons and paradigms of who we think we should be. “Nothing is more worthwhile than bringing to the world what we really have to give. Being coherent with our truth gives us freedom, truth and fullness”, says Machado.

Allow yourself to do less and take care of yourself more

In today’s lifestyle, the amount of things we ourselves demand is beyond what we can handle. And when we don’t handle everything, we feel frustrated. We often avoid even taking breaks and taking time off.

“What would it be like if you allowed yourself to do less and include moments of rest in your journey?”, asks the psychologist.

“Periods of disconnection are essential for well-being. Forget the checklist a little, look at yourself and do something that is not linked to responsibilities, but to pleasure, to the comfort that you lack so much. Your mind will be more rested and even more productive”, she says.

be resilient

Resilience is the ability to adapt to changes. This ability depends on strengthening our personal qualities and acting in the face of adversity with a focus on our acting power. According to Machado, to be resilient it is necessary to cultivate a mental model with room for a positive view of life, get in touch with emotions and assess whether your choices feed problems or act coherently to the solution of what you are looking for.

You have self compassion

Perfectionism and self-criticism create a vicious circle. We start to live in the anxiety of a perfect life and acts, trying to protect ourselves from situations capable of exposing our defects to the world. When we understand that perfection does not exist and accept ourselves exactly as we are, we are able to forgive ourselves, act with self-compassion and ask for help when we need it.

“It’s worth remembering that exaggerated self-demand can trigger anxiety attacks and even develop serious disorders. Hence the importance of policing yourself. If you realize that the feeling has gotten out of control, the ideal is to seek medical help”, says Machado.

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