New format in debate: BBB expands discussions on open relationships

by

During a conversation at the Big Brother Brasil house, singer Aline Wirley spoke about her relationship with actor Igor Rickli.

“Sometimes people judge a lot, they don’t understand exactly. And it’s super understandable that they don’t understand, because we were formatted to be one way. But it works so well, it works so well, I know how it works, how the people are happy, as we love each other, as it really is”, said Aline.

The reality show participant’s statement was made when commenting on the open relationship she has with her husband. At the moment, she was talking to another participant in the program, physician Fred Nicácio, who also has a similar relationship.

Because of the reality show participants, monogamy and non-monogamy became even more debated on social media.

For specialists interviewed by the report, these relationships that deviate from traditional monogamy have become more popular in recent years, mainly due to the dissemination of information on the subject.

“I believe that the visibility of this issue has indeed increased, especially from social networks and other activisms. This has contributed to more people having access to this debate and expanding their perceptions”, says Geni Núñez, PhD in Human Sciences and known in the social networks like Genipapos, where he talks about non-monogamy.

On the networks, several couples speak openly about relationships that admit that they have other partners, whether just sexually or even with romantic involvement.

‘It remains a relationship and we enjoy being together’

One of the couples who talk about the topic on social media is student Giovanna Rodrigues, 22, and parliamentary advisor Luís Moreira, 31.

Together, they maintain the “Non-Monogamous Solutions” page, where they share their relationship routine and details.

“We do practically everything that a close couple does, it remains a relationship and we enjoy being together, the difference is that we removed the part that he can only relate to me”, explains Giovanna.

“I believe she can be free and happy with someone else too”, defends Luís.

The two say they never had disagreements because of their other “affections”, as they define other loving partners.

“We just agreed to let them know when to leave and if they’re going back home. That’s more for safety reasons and not to make the other person upset”, comments Giovanna.

The couple lives together in an apartment in Rio de Janeiro (RJ) and plans to get married in the future. “Mainly because in Brazil this gives you rights and it is important as a couple to have legal support”, comments Luís.

Psychiatrist Manoel Vicente, 32, and businessman Raphael Piza, 29, also have a relationship that is different from the conventional one. They, who have been together for over 10 years, define their relationship as “free”.

The two, who live in Cuiabá (MT), got married earlier this month, shortly before the psychiatrist participated in Casa de Vidro, on Big Brother Brasil. Manoel was not chosen to officially join the program, but his brief participation in the dispute has already caused non-monogamy to enter into debate.

“Until participating in the program, we avoided talking about this subject openly. My friends knew that our relationship is like that, but our family did not. It was something more private, then the program came and we knew that it would be publicized” , comments Manuel.

“We didn’t exactly hide it, but we didn’t go around screaming (about their relationship). It was never a problem for us, but there was the issue of people not understanding”, adds Raphael.

According to them, the family received the information about their relationship with respect. “My mother gave a wonderful answer when asked about it. She is completely religious and also didn’t know what our relationship is like. But after the program, when asked, she said that a relationship like that was better than cheating”, he laughs. the psychiatrist.

The couple emphasizes that the main concept of the relationship is to “cherish freedom”.

“In our understanding, kissing other people is not betrayal. Betrayal is inventing lies for the one you love”, says Manoel.

He and Raphael had a close relationship for the first four years of dating.

“At first, we didn’t know other models of relationships, so we didn’t even think about other forms. But then I started to do some reading on these concepts, I saw some authors who work on different ways of relating and we embarked on this and seeing the that made sense at that moment”, says Manoel.

“The only rule we have is that we don’t get involved with our longtime friends, who are practically our family”, adds the psychiatrist. “At the end of the day, it all boils down to complicity and not having secrets between us”, completes Manoel.

the non-monogamy

For psychologist Geni, known on social media as Genipapos, these relationships that deviate from traditional monogamy are part of an “anti-model”, in which people stop repeating “massified values ​​of monogamy as the only one possible for all people in the world” .

“Monogamy still imposes itself as the only path in most films, series, books, in the church, in the family and in the State, so it is very interesting to see how many people feel uncomfortable with this imposition and seek other ways of life. , we live in a time when globally the same old answers have not been able to deal with the dilemmas of our time and there is a search for other ways, non-monogamy is part of that”, says Geni.

A report by BBC Worklife last August addressed the growth of this type of relationship that deviates from traditional monogamy. The text mentions that many social and cultural factors led to a greater adoption of non-traditional relationship styles and that the pandemic may also have influenced this process.

But while interest in open relationships may be increasing, there is no data on its real scope – at least, for now, according to the BBC report. In Brazil, for example, there is no in-depth study on the scope of this type of relationship.

And the topic is vast. Within these discussions there are different types of relationships and there is not exactly a model to be followed, each couple usually creates their own way of living non-monogamy.

Open relationships are associated with individuals who have a primary partner but may have casual relationships with other people. There are experts who claim that this is a mixture of monogamy (because there is a couple as the main structure) with traits of non-monogamy (because there is freedom to be with other people).

A clear example of non-monogamy is polyamory, which means having several serious relationships at the same time. That is, there is no couple at the center of this type of relationship.

These most varied forms of relationship have been adopted between couples of all genders, ages or sexual orientation.

“In Brazil, we use non-monogamy to talk about a gigantic set of varied forms of relationships that refuse affective or sexual exclusivity. It’s a more generic way to say that there are a lot of possibilities for free relationships”, explains the sociologist and writer Marilia Moschkovich.

For the sociologist, who has been a supporter of non-monogamy for almost a decade, monogamy is a model full of problems and flaws.

“One of the problems with monogamy is saying that the person can only be with you, because that takes away the person’s sexual autonomy, their own body and their desire. A world in which people have full autonomy includes desire, sexuality and not moralistic retaliation”, declares Marilia.

Experts believe that this type of relationship outside what is considered traditional should continue to grow, because more and more people should question monogamy as the main model of society.

attacks on networks

As the debate on the subject grows, so do the attacks on those who adopt this type of relationship.

“There is still a great moral panic on the subject, a lot of judgment and discrimination, there are a series of risks in some family and work contexts”, comments psychologist Geni Núñez.

Recently, Giovanna, from the “Non-monogamous Solutions” profile, suffered various types of attacks after sharing a video about her non-monogamous relationship.

“The video took on a very large proportion. Many people defended me, but I received many horrible comments and various offenses”, laments the student. She reported the case to the police and is considering the possibility of prosecuting the people who offended her.

“Our content has always been in our non-monogamous bubble and has had a good reception, with little criticism. I think this is the first time I’ve come across so much hate”, laments the young woman.

Despite the attacks, the couple does not plan to stop producing content for the internet, because they believe it helps shed light on the topic. “Because of our publications, we receive messages of thanks from many people who are also non-monogamous or have become”, says Luís.

And in the coming months, the subject should be increasingly debated during Big Brother Brasil. Although experts consider that the discussions can help to clarify several points on the subject, there is also concern about how some may reinforce misconceptions about these relationships.

“One concern I have (about the extensive discussion on the subject in prime time) is that since for many people “non-monogamy does not work”, there is already an expectation on the part of many of the failure or error that confirms their previous prophecy In the case of monogamy, we don’t see that. Nobody says: “I know a monogamous couple that ‘went wrong’, so this is proof of the failure of monogamy”. Geni Núñez.

You May Also Like

Recommended for you